


closure

by Yesiamthesquip



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, M/M, You asked for this, i warned you, its heere, this is a callout fic, you cant stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 05:29:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yesiamthesquip/pseuds/Yesiamthesquip
Summary: im doing this for the discordno one asked for this au but here it is





	closure

**Author's Note:**

> join the bmc discord if you want more of this au cause im doing this to spite them

everything was supposed to go back to normal after the squip incident. everything was supposed to be okay. for the most part, everything went back to normal. Jake and rich continued hanging out, Chloe and Brooke went back to talking shit about Madeline, and Christine went back to her play rehearsals. 

 

so, what was missing?

 

rich walked slowly into school as he avoided eyes with everyone. it had been a few months since the end of the incident, but the fire still came back to haunt rich everyday. 

 

rich will never be able to forgive himself for what he did. Jake forgave him easily, said it was all okay, but this wasn't the first time someone lied to rich. everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him, no one dares to say anything that might set him off. _"it was your squip"_ they would say, but rich knew what they were scared of. they were scared of him. 

 

rich tried to pass through the hall normally. _don't draw attention to yourself_ he thought. rich wanted to leave. he wanted nothing more than to leave school. he wanted to leave this hellhole and never have to deal with facing the guilt of looking them in the eyes again. that shame. that pity. that hate.

 

rich tried to sneak his way into first period, when he felt a hand grab his shoulder. he spun around only to come face to face with Jeremy Heere.

 

"i need to get to class" was all rich murmured as he tried to move past Jeremy, but he was blocking the way. 

 

"it's not your fault" Jeremy said, stopping rich dead in his tracks. he slowly turned to look at Jeremy, trying to see if he was lying or not. he was more terrified to see how Jeremy looked like he meant it. "it wasn't your fault rich, you didn't mean for this to happen" Jeremy said. rich could feel the tears at the corner of his eyes.

 

"m-move tall ass" rich stuttered, but he felt unable to move. he just wanted it to stop. 

 

"i know you cared for him too" Jeremy said quietly. rich could hear his voice crack a little as he spoke. don't break down rich thought, he couldn't turn to face Jeremy, but he just kept persisting. "it was all me, if i hadn't left him alone-" Jeremy started but before he knew it rich has shoved him up against the wall.

 

"You don't get it do you! it wasn't your fault it was all mine!" rich cried, tears falling down as face as he tried to remain composed. "I-I...THIS WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS IN THE BATHROOM IF I KNEW HE WERE IN THERE I MAY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING! BUT I DIDN'T. I WAS SELFISH AND I SET MY BEST FRIENDS HOUSE ON FIRE AND NOW HES DEAD. MICHAEL IS FUCKING DEAD AND ITS MY FAULT SO DON'T YOU DARE START SAYING IT WAS IT WAS YOUR FAULT CAUSE THE BLAME IS ALL ON ME"

 

rich could feel himself break a little more with every word that spilled out of him mouth. Jeremy stared at him blankly, unable to speak. of course rich cared about Michael, he wanted to be with Michael forever, but his squip has always forbid him. he wanted his squip out. he wanted it gone more than anything. all he could think about was driving it out of him and it drove him to set Jake's house on fire. he had no idea Michael was up there, probably unaware of what was happening before it was too late. 

 

rich let go of Jeremy and slowly sunk to his knees. he didn't care about the scene he was making, he didn't care about anything but Michael. he had repressed all of these feelings for too long. he wanted Michael back. he wanted Michael here now, he wanted to apologize, tell him hes sorry for bullying him all these years. maybe Michael would have forgiven him. maybe they could have become friends, maybe more...

 

but now it doesn't matter. nothing matters because Michael is dead. Michael is dead because rich set that stupid fire and ruined everything. he let the tears pour down his face as people began to crowd around him. he felt Jeremy kneel down next to him and place a hand on his back, trying to comfort him. rich didn't care anymore, he didn't care about anything but Michael.

 

people slowly started to leave and it was only a matter of time before an administrator showed up. rich's crying had slowed a bit, but the feelings hadn't gone away, and rich doubts that they ever will. before Jeremy gets up to leave as well, he leans over to rich. "meet me after school, we can go somewhere else to talk about this" Jeremy whispered to rich before he turned and left rich alone in the hallway.

 

*****************

 

rich met up with Jeremy after school and he quickly ushered rich over to his car. they drove in silence for a very long time before they reached their destination. rich felt the tears in the back of his eyes as he realized where they were. 

 

"why are we here?" rich asked quietly, not meeting Jeremy's eyes. "we are here so you can tell Michael what you need to" Jeremy said.

 

they got out of the car and walked quietly over to their destination. Michael's grave stood alone in the grass around them, and rich could start to feel his legs give out. he quickly walked over to the grave and knelt down next to it. he sat there for a long time in silence before he began to talk. 

 

"i know i was such an ass to you for so long, but you need to know i never meant it" rich started, giving off some pitiful smile as tears slowly rolled down his face. "you were such an amazing guy. you were funny and smart and i wanted to talk to you so bad, but all i ever ended up doing was hurt you" rich felt Jeremy come and sit down next to him. "i'm sorry Michael, i'm so sorry" rich whispered, and silence followed for a long time.

 

rich and Jeremy sat by Michael's grave for a long time in silence. soon Jeremy began to talk as well, explaining how he was sorry about what he said to Michael that night and hopes he would forgive him. both rich and Jeremy felt a weight lifted off their shoulders.

 

the guilt was still there, and it may always remain there, but at least they have closure. 


End file.
